God’s call is constant. I feel the tugging to be with Him throughout the day, and I feel (or should I say seek?) His hand in whatever I’m thinking and doing. My decisions are coloured with the words from the acronym found on Christian bracelets which read: WWJD ‘What Would Jesus Do?’ Of late I feel peace and a sense of just knowing that my God is with me. I have received this peace through the Graces bestowed on me in the Sacrament of Reconciliation and the most Holy Eucharist. This I know.
His call has sent me in search of Him in what I read and the company I choose to keep. My interests revolve around His work, and God willing, I plan to put forward a fervent hand in the Vineyard when I retire, giving my time to charity and volunteer work in whichever way He desires, so that someone else who is searching for Him may reach out and take His hand. As for the present, my vocation as an educator fills me up to the brim with opportunities to share the Good News in different ways each and every day. My responsibilities as spouse and parent have I come to see as the workshop where Christ is forming me, and where my ‘tests’ are greatest and sometimes most painful. I thank God for his steadfast patience and faith in me. I know I have much yet to learn, internalize and live. I trust in Him.
I went through a phase of indecision with regard to prayer, thinking that only ‘my own’ prayers were true, because they were an expression of my heart and no-one else’s. This has taken me along a long path of self-discovery and lots of delving. My excavations revealed a wealth of beautiful heartfelt prayer written by the saints and mystics of the Church, which say exactly what I want to express and more. My love for Jesus has grown and my heart and mind has been opened to the love of the Lord through these most beautiful prayers.
At a meeting recently , was I introduced to the following all-encompassing Easter-tide prayer:
Roll back the stone doors,
The doors of fear,
Fear of difficulties and problems.
– the doors of relying on our own strength;
-the doors of human respect.
And what we call our common sense.
-the doors of our sinfulness
and human frailty
-the doors of mediocrity and laziness.
We pray this Easter for Faith, Lord;
Not for faith in your raising to life
But for faith in your raising us to life with you.
The Good News
Of your resurrection from the dead
Will never spread to the whole world
Without that of our new life in you.
We pray for new vitality
For your Church,
For each one of us.
Call us out of the tomb,
And help us to unbind one another.
(Cardinal Gabriel Zubeir Wako)